


Dilution

by summerstorm



Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: Alice in Wonderland References, Community: cliche_bingo, M/M, Vampires, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-06-29
Updated: 2009-06-29
Packaged: 2017-10-05 10:55:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/41022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/summerstorm/pseuds/summerstorm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam finds out when he catches Kris drinking from a poorly disguised bottle at the bathroom sink—so poorly disguised that Adam can't tell what's under the disguise, or what the disguise even <em>is</em>.</p><p>"What is that?" he asks, and Kris startles and a trail of red liquid dribbles over his chin onto the porcelain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dilution

**Author's Note:**

> For cliche_bingo, square 1C - vampires.

Adam finds out when he catches Kris drinking from a poorly disguised bottle at the bathroom sink—so poorly disguised that Adam can't tell what's under the disguise, or what the disguise even _is_.

"What is that?" he asks, and Kris startles and a trail of red liquid dribbles over his chin onto the porcelain.

Kris glances at him wide-eyed like a deer in headlights, but quickly enough composes himself and says, crooked abashed grin and everything, "Energy drink. Been feeling kinda tired lately."

It looks fruity, and Adam's initial assumption is Kris is embarrassed because fruity drinks are 'for girls', even though that's never really stopped Kris from doing anything before. Old habits die hard, though. "Is it good?"

Kris gapes at him for a second before blinking and saying, "I guess."

"Can I try it?"

The silence stretches on for a while. As it goes on, Kris starts to look smaller and smaller, like he forgot his homework or something. Or maybe Adam's dreaming, and this is his subconscious's version of Wonderland, and Kris's bottle said "drink me" when he found it. Except he usually stars in his own dreams, and he's not sure what his role in that scenario would be. Maybe the card.

"Sure," Kris finally says, handing the bottle to Adam.

Adam takes a sip.

He looks up before the taste hits his tongue and Kris is all up in his personal space, which delays Adam's reaction by a few seconds.

"Oh my God, this is disgusting."

Kris shrugs up at him. Kris looks _weird_. His eyes are grayer than usual, project a sort of somberness over his face, and his cheeks are redder somehow. Darker than just flushed.

Adam's about to give up and let the image in front of him turn him on when the fangs pop out.

"What—" he blurts out, and drops the bottle.

The bottle of _blood_.

"Oh, my _God_," Adam says, feeling his eyes widen. His eyes shouldn't be widening. If you drink blood for a living, you can smell fear, right? Adam hopes he doesn't smell like fear. Adam really hopes the Dior he put on this morning hasn't faded away. Maybe that's enough deterrent for Kris. Blood and cologne don't sound like they'd make a tasty cocktail, except blood doesn't sound like a tasty drink to begin with, and Kris drinks it, so you can never really be sure—

Kris lifts his eyebrows and cracks up.

"What?" Adam asks. Kris keeps laughing. "_What_?"

Kris takes a deep breath and a step back, but starts laughing when he looks at Adam again.

"Can you read my mind?" asks Adam. "Is that for real?"

"No, I can't read your mind. And you can stop the act, I'm not gonna kill you."

"You're not gonna drink my blood?"

Kris snorts. "I'm from Arkansas," he says, like that's supposed to mean something. "I ask before I bite."

And that's that.

 

*

 

Except it's not, because Kris is a _vampire_, and Adam could barely deal with his curiosity before he knew that. Now the questions just flow out, and he's vaguely aware they might get him bitten. For real. Probably in a bad way.

Somehow he can't bring himself to care.

"So, um, Katy?"

Maybe that's what _Twilight_ does to you: it makes real-life vampires seem less menacing than they actually are. Kris is way less menacing than Edward all by himself, though, and Kris doesn't even sparkle, so maybe it's not all _Twilight_. Maybe the horror thing is the one part of the myth that's all fake.

"What about her?"

"How long have you known her?"

Kris blinks. "A while."

"A while like, two years, or a while like, been seventeen a while, you turned—"

"A while like been seventeen a while, and she turned me."

"Right," says Adam. "I should have guessed that."

"I don't think you should be questioning my potential lack of morals."

"True," Adam agrees. "I should be questioning the nature of your relationship with Katy."

"She's my wife."

"Have you guys ever had a harem?"

"Do I look Swedish to you?"

Adam tilts his head. "Sorta," he says. "From a certain angle."

"We're normal people."

"You drink blood."

"Half synthetic half donors. I don't kill people."

"Never?"

"Not in the past fifty years, no."

Apparently Adam has to ask everything here, because Kris doesn't even bother to tell him what percentage of his life as a vampire fifty years is.

Adam kinda doesn't want to know. A little bit of mystery's always good, and Kris's real age doesn't really affect him.

"How do you," he attempts, "deal with—the pre-last fifty years stuff?"

"The memories are pretty vague," Kris explains. "Hazy. I don't remember the names or the faces, or anything much really. It's like it all happened when I was a baby."

"Don't you ever want to—"

"Yeah," Kris says, shrugging. "But I deal. Think about it this way: how are Danny's family still alive? You don't think about how much you want to kill them, and the anger goes away," Kris explains.

"Actually, what I do is not carry murder weapons around with me."

Kris nods thoughtfully. "Yeah, that helps too."

 

*

 

"You're not gonna tell, right?" Kris asks later, when Adam's taking off his makeup in the bathroom. They seem to be having a lot of serious conversations in the bathroom lately.

"That you're a—"

"Vampire. You can say it."

"No, I don't think anyone would believe me."

Kris seems taken aback. It's a good look on him. "Good."

"You're really not gonna kill me, are you?" asks Adam. "Or should I be switching rooms?"

Kris walks in and grabs his toothbrush. "I can control myself."

"Good," Adam says, grinning. "Glad to hear that."

 

*

 

"How do you even get it past the government? Or, like, do they know? Are they in on the—" Adam gestures vaguely. He really has no idea how to call it. Is it just vampires? Are there werewolves too? Is it actually possible for the world to contain a hot, both literally and metaphorically, shirtless Jacob in it? Adam might actually reconsider his stance on God if there is.

"It's complicated," Kris says quickly, looking kind of annoyed. "It works out. Look, remember when I told you I ask before I bite?"

Adam nods.

Kris waits.

"Wait, are you asking?"

Kris shrugs.

"Like, right now?"

"Sure, why not," says Kris. "Or later."

Adam ponders this. "Wouldn't that kill me?" he asks. "Or would it make me a vampire too?"

Kris rolls his eyes to the ceiling, and enunciates, "I _can control myself_."

"Really?"

"I'm not a monster," says Kris. "I just have retarded cells. And it's been ages since I had some undiluted stuff."

"I'm gonna go with 'or later'," Adam decides.

"Your call."

 

*

 

Later, Kris crawls over him in bed and ducks his head next to Adam's neck.

"Shit," says Adam, knocking his head on the board behind him. "Ouch."

Kris resurfaces and chuckles. "You said later."

"I _know_." Adam's skull is still reverberating. "Yeah, I know. Okay."

In his defense, Kris is straddling Adam's thighs right now, and half of Adam's blood's already left his brain.

"So I guess this makes you the chick," Kris points out.

"The what?"

"In the Twilight books. The chick."

Adam raises an eyebrow. "Bella?"

"Yeah."

"You didn't even know her name, did you?"

Kris snorts. "You never remember who wrote Falling Slowly, and they freaking _talked_ to you."

Adam nods. "Good point."

"Anyway, where was I?"

"Drinking my blood?"

"Right."

"Are you sure that's—"

Kris's fangs pop out.

They're kind of amazing, those fangs. Look like real teeth and everything. Adam wonders if Kris was born with extra long teeth and then sharpened them, or if they grew out after Katy converted him.

"They look so _real_," he says, can't help himself, and Kris rolls his eyes. "Can I touch them?"

Kris seems amused. "Do you wanna lose a finger?"

"Um," says Adam, nonplussed. "Not particularly."

Kris sighs, biting the inside of his cheek. He shrugs. "Okay, I guess. If you want," he says, and opens his mouth wide.

They feel like real teeth too.

"Can I bite you now?"

Actually, "Can I bite you first?"

"I—what?"

"I mean, what's in it for me? I'm not just giving up a glass of my blood just cause you can't get your hands on unaltered donations."

"And you want to bite me?" Kris asks, incredulous. "That's what you want?"

"Well, bite you and a-few-other-four-letter-verbs you, yeah," says Adam, and looks pointedly at Kris's crotch. Kris swallows. "Does it work?"

Kris rolls his eyes at him.

 

*

 

It definitely works.

As a matter of fact, there's nothing about Kris's body or the way he squirms under Adam when Adam pins him down on the bed that seems anything other than human to him. He breathes, and he sweats, and the only blood involved in the whole thing is the kind that rushes through their heads.

He's actually a pretty good lay, and Adam's not sure if that's what could be decades of experience, or the fact that he's wanted to fuck him since pretty much the day they met.

 

*

 

It's a lot like getting blood drawn, feeding Kris. He has a kit and everything, and this time at least he does Adam's arm instead of his neck. It's all very hygienic.

It also means he's not going to be able to wear t-shirts in a while, but no t-shirts translates into more jackets, so it's all good.

"So the fangs are..." Adam half-asks, pressing a bit of cotton down on the perforated vein.

"Not as clean as needles."

"You were gonna use them last night."

"No, I wasn't," says Kris. "I was just trying to corner you."

Adam mock-gasps. "Why, Mr. Allen, you minx."

"You don't get where I am without knowing a few tricks."

"Well, clearly your brand of vampirism isn't gonna get you laid."

"I have a _wife_," Kris remarks, "who can't physically have headaches."

"And you guys are 'normal people'," says Adam.

"Yeah."

"Well, I'm just saying, normal isn't very exciting," Adam explains. "You're lucky you're so pretty, 'cause you're not hitting anyone's vampire kink like that." Adam squints thoughtfully, or maybe his eyeliner's getting in his eye, he can't tell. "Except for the—what was that? When I found out? You were all flushed and intense."

Kris presses his eyes closed for a second, almost blushing. "It was hot to see you drink blood."

"Oh," says Adam.

Kris shrugs.

"Your brand of vampirism really sucks," Adam says, kind of surprised himself. "It's like diabetes."

"I don't go comatose without blood," Kris points out.

"So what do you go without blood?"

Kris bites his lip. "A little crazy."

Adam thinks he'd like to see that.

"It's not pretty," says Kris without missing a beat, and walks out.

"Huh," says Adam to the empty room. Now that kinky vampirism is out, he sort of hopes Kris was lying about not being able to read his mind, because honestly, that'd be much hotter than sticking a needle in his arm.

Besides, in this scenario, Adam would be a book that says 'read me', and that's way better than any 'drink me' bottles, no matter how pretty the cards.


End file.
